What we got here is, Failure to Communicate!

   That has to be one of my favorite lines I have ever heard in my life. Another great one is "that which makes you, can also break you" How do these tie in to every day living with an ICD? Well, so far with my experiences it kinda goes a little something like this.....

     If you are fortunate enough for your device to discharge its fury and vengeance upon you, like I have had. When you go to the hospital and get checked out, and spend hours of your day in the ER. Then you may even be admitted to get some new medications, or have existing medications adjusted. Then you may come to the conclusion like I did, that the Doctor will basically say "What we got here is, Failure to communicate". In my case it continued on in my mind any way with "Some men you just can't reach!" Man you just gotta love some of those old movies. Cool Hand Luke was a pretty good older flick. But as it relates to a person and a device, at least in my mind. Perhaps Doctors may need to consider talking to people in terms that normal folks can understand. Instead of You have been selected in psudohedrome studys of macular degeneration of the psudo nuclear reaction of swamp ass gasses floating around the cerebral cortex of Pink Floyd. So what we ARE in Fact going to do about this is, Get in out space alien suits wit 8x10 color glossy pictures with circles and arrows showing the crime scene. Then we are going to drill a hole into your aorta and send a bore scope up I-25 to the 277 exit and do a warp factor 10 slingshot about your spleen and finally into a time travel loop with a cork screw projectile we stab into the lower left ventricle. Say what?

      I may be inclined to better understand something like this. Well what happened to you is you croaked. It took a grand total of 21 attempts to jump start you, because your pump was acting like an 61 Dodge on a brisk January morning. As you can tell, we did get you fired up again, but we know you need a little power in your corner. So we are going to install this jump box into you. No sir, you really do not have a choice, we are going to do it whether you agree or not. While you were unconscious, we were on it like a "Duck on a June bug!"  So something like this is much better understood. If we break it down a bit further it goes something like this. You died, we killed the jump box trying to re start you, and you will receive an outstanding bill for that. We are going to make you a cyborg, and NO you do NOT have a choice. We will install this tomorrow morning! It is simple and to the point. It really leaves no room for discussion at the end. How simple can it be. Do they use the fancy talk to make it seem less harsh then it really is? I am not sure but it drives me nuts.

     I swear they must hit up the wacky weed before they talk to us! And when you are in surgery, they look a lot like this too. Well that could honestly be drug induced. OK, So I agree they could talk in a bit of a manner that can be understood by everyone. " And that's how you get what we had here last night, which is the way he wants it! Well, He gets it!"



      The next one is "That which makes you, can also break you!" I do not remember where I got that line, but it fits a lot of applications. I think it fits this situation as well. Face it, your heart is a pump and without it you are quite finished. So if you break your heart, you will be finished. Similar to if money makes you, when you get canned it will certainly break you! So the thing I now associate that with is, take care of your heart, as its the only one you have. You would thing that they would have come up with a small pump that they could install to keep you going. But it it that we as humans can not exactly adapt to that? I do not know, but it is food for thought. Perhaps even as advanced in technology as we are, we are still in the dark ages. They make huge advances all the time in the medical field. And it would appear that we are on the cutting edge of technology. I have seen some of the older defibrillators and compared to mine, they are huge. It looks like they are about the size of a pack of smokes. I am glad that comparatively mins is very small. It is incredible that they have some of them that do not even need the wire to the heart now as well. How cool is that? The best part is as they get smaller, they also will have a better understanding of how to set them up for fewer misfires. From my point of view, all misfires are a bad thing. But I have to look at it another way as well. I know it works. Damn. I am wondering if it is like a cattle charger for an electric fence, you know, the one with the picture of an upside down cow on it.

   Wow, any rancher would love to have us on hand in the event of a power outage. Here, lick your fingers and hold these two wires until the power comes back on. Well damn. That brings more ideas to mind. Maybe they should have the option for leads to be hanging out of your chest, so when the car has a dead battery you can jump start it. Or maybe when your power goes out, you can still use the flashlight you have been meaning to but batteries for. Perhaps you are a paranormal investigator, the ghosts could use your battery to communicate, One shock for yes, two for no. lol. There are a lot of possibilities, cell phone back up battery, lap top computer etc etc.  OK, well I hope this makes you laugh a little. We all can use it here and there.


   Keep coming back! there is more to come.