Almost three years in......

  It's been a while since I have posted. I am doing pretty well with my job selling cars and am somewhat happy. Still having severe mood swings that I do manage to cover up much better now.. No not perfect by any stretch but better. Still plotting peoples demise lol. Well in some respects I have more patience and in others I still have an extremely short fuse. I have a great understanding of my own mortality and am discovering I do now have issues with commitments.

  I have also discovered that some people you should never sell a new car to. I had this clown I bent over backwards and rode our finance directors ass for weeks to get him into a New Camaro. She finall pulled in favors to get this guy financed and this jack off bounced his check for the down payment of $2000.00. So when he finally came in and made good on his check he asked us to no longer contact him about anything. So we agreed. He in turn marks all zeros on the survey he got from GM and at this point has cost me over $3000.00 personally at this time. See salesmen get a little bonus at certain dealerships for preformance. Now what does this have to do with anything you ask? Its about dealing with stress. Take away the bonus I have earned and then the fines that are assessed until my csi comes back and this has removed close to $3500.00 from my ability to feed my family. Not cool. Stress can affect everything about your health and that has added so much stress to my life it is insane. Perhaps I will start a page about who to not sell a new car to lol.

 When you take a few steps backwards you can actually get a clear picture of what is happening. You assess what makes sense and start to adjust... Whoa. WTF!  Wow the shades fell off and I am over it. I do not like stress, I just want to live while I am still alive. I am pretty good at the sales gig. Why? Fuck if I know... Maybe because I am real. I don't pretend about jack shit and if I don't know I don't make it up.

   The problem here is this. I see what I pay every month and I see its 25 years till the end of that tunnel. I stopped in my tracks and I can litterally feel my heart rate increase when I stress out over money.. wow.. I bet that everyone does. Well so what the hell am I gonna do to reduce this stress in my life?

   Stress.  When the mind overrides the bodys basic need to choke the living shit out of some asshole who desperately deserves it... I have no clue as to who wrote that but damn its perfect.

  Okay, the plan. 2 to 5 years to be Debt free. I find this exciting and do not have the bugs worked out just yet. I have always wanted to live in the mountains. So I intend to buy a plot of land here in Colorado. I am going to build an off the grid home and move up in the hills. Now the potential here is exciting but does not raise heart rates and blood pressure for me. It actually seems rather tranquil.

   Once I am Debt Free. Living should become fun again. That is exactly what I want. No stress, can do pretty much whatever. If I do go to the hospital, I won't be stressed out about how to pay the mortgage.. wow. A win win situation.

  I suppose the whole point to todays blog is to let you all know. I am still here and I am doing well. No episodes to report for 2 years now. Yes! I hope you all are doing well.