Dealing with the Stress!

   I have been pretty tied up the last few days, and I am not really sure how. I have been studying my butt off, and applying for employment. I am sure that there is something out there that will be the perfect fit for me. I am just not so sure what that fit is yet. I had an interview at a supplemental insurance company yesterday, I am not sure now is the time for that risk. The potential earnings with that are outstanding however. One day I am a pipeline type of pump mechanic, and the next I am contemplating sales once again. How interesting is that. I have heard rumor that most people change careers 3 or more times in their lives. I just do not have the nest egg to allow for a long spell of little to no money. How do people do it? I have no clue as to how people are able to save up and have the money to coast for a while. It is absolutely mind boggling to study, job hunt, and interview all at the same time. I am as busy as I have ever been, but not in a normal manner.

   If I had a desk, I am sure it would look just like this at the moment. So here it is, just after 4 AM and I am here writing in my blog. I woke with some chest pain this morning, but I am sure its from the stresses of trying to do too much. Stress as far as I understand is a killer. It contributes to how you feel, and how you deal with situations. When I was a young man, I was under the impression that my mom had suffered a stress related heart attack. Stress can wreak havoc in you life and dreams. Stress makes it incredibly difficult to focus and concentrate as well. Oh, look at the pretty birds in my front yard! I am so hungry I think I would like a couple of eggs with some toast. Then you toss in the ADD on top and you have a deluxe tossed salad with a nice dripping glop of stress dressing on top.  I am not sure myself how being busy, doing nothing but spinning my wheels in the mud can wear me down so bad. It does tend to take its toll on you. I am in good spirits, and have woke pretty happy for the last few days. I have always been a good salesman, and know I can walk into just about any automobile dealership in the state and land a job. I have a second interview today with the insurance company but am not sure if I can stay calm and preform under the gun like this. I am going to complete my GED and I know that will open a few more doors for me. 

   Overall I am so impressed I have not lost my mind at this time. I have been remaining positive and upbeat. I have gotten to spend some time with my family and am in great spirits. But that does not change the fact that I am in need of getting back to work. I am in need of finding something that is going to be kind to my body, and allow me to have a nice work / life balance. I have always been a man with a great work ethic. Well, that would be because I have really never had any other choice. I have always had that non stop, go get it done attitude. It is flat out impressive that I do not have a nice nest egg tucked away at this point in my life. How do you literally work yourself to death and have no future? How do you work yourself to the point you have missed your family growing up and have no coasting room? Why do we do this to ourselves? What part of the big picture am I not catching here? I have changed most of my evil ways, and yet I still suffer. If everything happens for a reason, then what is that reason now? I have been here before and its really getting old to keep repeating the same old same old lessons, It really does not make me feel any better that I have a twist of death on top, like some sort of big fat custom mad sundae. Here you go. two scoops of cheap chocolate ice cream, a scoop of strawberry and some mint chocolate chip. We added the nuts and sprinkles and just for you we dribbled it in.. No, not hot fudge.. But liquid Death! You should love it sir! Its thick and creamy like fudge, but it does leave an interesting aftertaste with a nifty pasty coating you cant exactly scrape off. We hope you enjoy it! What the hell did I do to deserve this?

   It does look delicious, So you take a nice big old spoon full when you realize that you were served a big old fat juicy dog shit sundae! OK, things not to search the web for. Big fat nasty sundaes and dog shit sundaes, I am scarred for life after that. WOW! That was nasty, who would have thought. So while I am sitting here with a mouth full of DSS, I wonder where exactly I have gone wrong? What have I done with my life? Why am I being served fecal matter sundaes over and over? The conclusion I have come up with is this. I do not have enough stress in my life, so we have found a way to serve up some more. The only real memories I do have in the last 20 years are from movies, so I need to learn to live a little. I have no clue as to what I really enjoy doing so this is difficult. I need a better life work balance, so I can entertain the idea of living. I have found that the reasons behind this shit sundae are sound. I have found that I lack the foundation to build upon to attain this. So I am in the basement trying to build a foundation, while holding up an existing building. Will I be successful? That is in fact a very difficult question to answer. Stress causes chest pain, so I think stress sucks. I do not find chest pain debilitating, in case you are wondering. I find Back pain debilitating, and will discuss that later. So the foundation as I perceive it is my GED. The building is the life I have built so far, and I refuse to let it go. I am a pig headed stubborn mo fo too so I will die trying to maintain what I do have. Back to the question at hand, will I be successful? I can spend all day dissecting this question. I can analyze it and scrutinize it until the cows come home and more.  

   Here is the answer. I have decided that I am not going to let stress kill me and or set off my ICD. I have decided that I am going to pursue my GED and open new doors. I will maintain my household and install my foundation without destroying what I have built. Life is too damned short to sit here stressing out about everything that can possibly go wrong. I have decided I have been going about life totally wrong. I have always wanted but never had weekends off like "normal" people. I have never known what it is like to have a life and work balance. The stress  it causes is unacceptable and I no longer wish to swim in a cesspool of stress. It is time to move forward and enjoy the fruits life has to offer. There is a glorious future out there for me. There is time to live and learn. There is time to do what I want to do. I will have my buddy to follow along inside my chest to be sure I survive to the next chapter in my life as well. If I stay positive about things, I am supposed to realize a positive result. That is what the laws of attraction state. Is it real? I am going to find out!

 Sorry about the editing at this point of the day, the editor is still in bed watching the insides of her eye lids. I am glad she is here for my support! I hope you have someone to support you as well. When life throws lemons at you I say dodge! 

Keep coming back! More adventures to come!