Happy Father's Day!
So far today has been an excellent day! I have only been up for a little while, but have had breakfast and am having coffee at the moment as well. I didn't post a blog yesterday at all, because I spent the day with my family. I took my boy's fishing over at Bingham Lake again. When we got home we watched some movies as a whole family. It was really a rewarding day! So we were at Bingham lake and fishing for anything that would bite. The day was full of promise and I was excited that my oldest son Liam would catch his first fish.I am sad to say yesterday was not that day. I wish I was good at fishing, so I could ensure he would catch something. I was having device pain yesterday, and trying to be patient with a 5 year old, a teen and a pre teen. I was not about to let my discomfort spoil the day. I find it quite irritating at times that the device in my chest can cause that kind of discomfort. Oh Well, life must continue! So we were fishing away on the south west corner of the lake, where last weekend I was witness to those that caught some Walleye and Wiper and we had caught a couple of very small Wiper. It was hot but with a light breeze for most of the day. We left around 3:30 PM, because of an ugly looking thunder storm rolling in. we had arrived at 10:00 AM and it was about 1:00 PM when my Middle boy got a hit. I was thrilled to see him with a catch. It fought him a little bit, and it looked like he was having a great time. As he got the fish in, he could see it was a decent size Channel Cat. I was Impressed that he had about a 3 Lb catfish on his line. I helped him get it out of the water, When I realized that he had gotten extremely lucky with this catch. The Fish was not hooked in its mouth at all, but it was hooked in its chin if you will. He had actually snagged the fish! The fish had been caught before, so there was a hook deep inside it as well, and line hanging out of its mouth. I was thinking how tasty this fish would be.. Well as the day came to a close, my son Aiden had decided to let the Catfish live and we released it. Was worth living with the pain to see that, and I would do it over and over again.
Even though the events of the day were completely fantastic, I wound up having night mares when I should have had happy dreams. I remember waking up and looking at the clock at 2:20 AM in a cold sweat and panicked. This dream may not sound terrifying to those of you without a device or implant but I assure you that it was. I was at the lake with my boys, and I felt a snap in my chest. It was accompanied by a sharp pain just behind my ICD. It seemed like a couple of hours had passed, when I noticed my device had moved over and down into my arm pit. Kinda freaked out about this, I reached into my arm pit and worked the device back over to its proper location. Thinking that everything was cool, knowing I was in for having a slight surgery to re-anchor the device, things seemed to be OK. When a moment later I look at my chest to see my device beneath the skin begin to sink. The feeling was so strange, and it felt so real. To have something under your skin like that and moving was just amazing, creepy, but amazing. My device continued to sink and as it sank it moved to the left side of my abdomen. I was not impressed by this, but was thinking about getting to the Doc. Then this fricking annoying alarm went off, it was so loud but muffled as well. It was my device sounding a warning, to let me know there was a problem. Now I am panicked and need to get to the Doc. I am calling frantically and trying to reach the him, but I can't hear over the alarm. It seems like days passed trying to get a hold of the Doc to get this problem fixed. I am digging through my tackle box at this point to find a knife or something sharp enough to cut this annoying device out of me, when I wake in the Dr's office and the nurse is stitching my incision closed. I wake up wondering how I went through this without getting nuked. Then as the next moment pass, I realize that it was just a dream. Not really terrifying, until you have something like this in your body. The good thing is I realized that it was all just another twisted dream.
I manage to hold it together, and I watch a movie, and a Total Blackout episode and finally fall back asleep. I awake to the aroma of fresh Coffee and Bacon. MMM I was going to eat that whole plate of Bacon, until the wife gave me that oh hell no look. I tried, but failed. We had her Delicious pancakes, Bacon and Coffee! We discussed the dream I had last night and ate a wonderful breakfast. We have also found that with Bacon so expensive per pound at this time, if we buy the ends and pieces you get a lot more for your money. Like it matters that its all smaller pieces, we always busted up the regular stuff to make it seem like more. Bacon is Bacon, it's delicious no matter how it comes. Stuffing my face with Bacon, Coffee and pancakes, I go ahead and open my Father's Day card, this is the moment you realize how important you are to someone else. Makes you a bit misty eyed, unless you are made of stone I think. When the chips are down and you are feeling a bit low because of how you have and or are struggling at the time. To read what others are saying about you as a father, or mentor can have an affect on you. I never thought I was really that good of a father. I have always thought, that overall, I was an OK provider. I have never been able to take my kids to Disney world, or to do a lot of the things I was privileged to do as a child. I know I am a little pig headed in their education, as I do not want them to turn out the way I have. I want them to be much better than me for sure. But as a Dad I was convinced I was really a failure. It dawns on me today that perhaps the times I can do things with them may register more. Why is this? Well, I think that it's the rarity of the times we could spend together that may provide additional value. I have always had to work, most of the time I have held down 2 or three jobs at a time, to keep them fed and a roof over their heads. I have had to miss a lot of their childhoods as I was carving out a living for my family. I did this because I didn't want or need other peoples values instilled in my children. I did this to keep them out of daycare's and other situations such as gangs and drugs. I do this to ensure they have as good of a start as I can possibly give them. Today is that day, where you realize what you have done had really paid off. They love you and they value the time they have with you. They really would have been quite upset if I didn't come through my situation. Here is a look at the card they gave me.
I hope you all can read this! Today is that day! The day I realize that I have done a pretty fair job of raising my kids! It has so far been a fantastic journey, and I look forward to the continuing efforts as a father! My kids are as awesome as they get! I think the modern term for this is my kids are Epic! How cool it is, to be a father. I may be battery operated, I may put in long hours away from my family. But it appears they recognize the times we do have as rewarding and special! Perhaps I am doing better then I give myself credit for! To all of you Fathers out there, Happy Father's day! To all of us Dad's out there, Happy Dad's Day! Anyone can be a father, You have to be a cut above to be a DAD! Battery operated for longevity or not. I hope you all have a great day!
Happy Dad's Day! Keep coming back!
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