Vampires really Do Exist!

    Today lesson is on Vampires and night sweats. I was always under the assumption that Vampires were a fictional creature, man oh man, was I mistaken. I remember in my younger days I would go to the hospital with my wife to do the occasional check up when she was pregnant. I remember all the fun toys I would play with when we were in the office waiting for the Doc to come in. I would play with all of it. The big light was always fun as well as the rest of the goody's in the offices. I know for a fact I am not the only one to play with all the fun things in a medical office. OK, maybe not fact, but I am pretty sure. I remember how my wife would tell me to stop playing with things early on, but that soon ended when she realized I was incapable of controlling my curiosities in a doctor's office. So she would sit there calmly and watch, maybe she accepted me as a bigger child. I have found that even when I go to the doctor's office by myself that I have to play with all the fun accessories and torture devices they have. They have to know that people sit in there and play with all their equipment while they wait. Hey you have an appointment at 10:30 AM, get here early so you can do the preliminary paper work. So you get there at 10 to 10:15 AM and wait. They take you back to the examination room at 11:15 or if you are lucky. Then you sit there and wait, this is where the boredom comes into play. Where the hell do doctor's get off being late to every got damned appointment I have ever been to? I do not get that at all. I have to be on time to work, I think they need to be on time to their appointment's as well. Just Saying! So they come in and check you out and decide they need body fluid samples, Oh Joy! So they leave and beckon the Vampires. 

    Now I have seen some Hot Vampires in my time. Even though all they want is my blood.

OK, and here is one for you ladies out here. 

    So in comes the Vampire a while later, sporting pale and cold clammy skin. Hiding behind that doctor's cloak doesn't fool me. But they are always so kind, and they try to talk to you for a minute as the set up their devices of torture. They pull out the tubes and those little tiny needles and start putting contraptions together. They grab the tourniquet and cut off the circulation in an extremity to make the veins pop out a bit. For those of you that have not had all of your veins popped in an emergency situation, this is a fairly simple process. Well, if you are like me your veins have all been collapsed and they really try to hide when they are going to draw blood. So now the vampires are frustrated, and you can see the hunger in their eyes. They stab you any way, and that little tiny needle now feels like it is ten foot diameter. How can that little tiny thing hurt so damned bad? I have had serious injuries that have not hurt as bad as a got damned needle trying to find a vein. I am also under the impression that I get the beginning Vampires as well. Oh, yes the guy in #3 is Bunker, be sure you send the trainee in there to get the samples. You have one that is here for an interview? Even better! Send the job hunter in, let's see how she does under pressure. I swear that is what they do. I have had some real vampires, and they don't look for veins on the top, they feel for the good ones. They have this uncanny sense for where to find your blood, and they whack you and you don't even feel it. Wham Bam were done, they have their samples and lunch and out the door in moments. Can I get lucky that way all the time? Oh, nay nay, I get the newbies. They go for the non existent veins on top, and then they find one. You tell them its a rolling vein, and the bruises just barely cleared up from the last attempt 6 months ago. They say oh, I can get that and bruise the ever lovin shit out of you again. I swear the next one that does that to me I am gonna give em a knuckle sandwich. One thing they do not get is maybe they should listen to the objection before they stab you. Another thing newbies do is fish for the vein. WTF? They stab, that now 50 FT diameter needle in there and twist it around in circles in an attempt to hook the vein. Really? OK, It's my turn jerk off! I wanna grab that needle and poke it in them and wrench it around and see how they like it. Use your damned noodle people. 

    There needs to be some sort of standard with supervision, that if they fish for it, they get fired. That really sucks, the bruise lasts for months, and it hurts like hell. Not just when they are fishing, but for the whole time that bruise is there. So we let the doctors show up late to their appointments, and we let the Vampires abuse us. We are sheep it would appear. Ok, so now you are severely maimed and you have given your samples, they don't even bother to call you and discuss the results with you. I suppose this means everything is normal? I am on medications that tear up a persons liver, I think they should discuss the results with me. On the good side of things, working out a little, and walking have started to make my veins more apparent, and some even poke out again. To me this says, hey buddy keep up the good work. It tells me that my circulatory system is becoming stronger and healthier. It tells me that my heart is getting stronger as well. But I am no Doc. So I just have the information I have read and heard. Maybe I am some sort of whacko, but I am sure that this is hard evidence that my health is improving greatly. 

    So another sign that I am doing better is the Night Sweats. I had the night sweats really bad right after my ordeal. It was horrible, waking up in a pool of water basically. I did not know I had that much liquid in my body, WOW! How miserable is the damned night sweats? Well for those of you who do not know, I will try to describe it a little. Imagine laying in bed, on a hot summer night and you throw the covers on the floor. Then you position the fan to blow directly on you, but it feels like it is a big hair dryer on high. the all of a sudden you go from say 104 degrees to -13 in the blink of an eye. Then it switches back to 104, and then freezes you again. This goes on for hours, and every night. My assumption is, if you have a heart trauma it kicks the rest of your body's systems into chaos. Especially your internal thermostat. I did not know I could sweat when I am freezing to death, its actually pretty interesting. When I discussed this with my nurse, she said I was probably in manopause. With the bit of research I have done, I have found that those with a heart malfunction will get the night sweats. I vote for calling this a malfunction instead of heart disease, I do not feel diseased, and I refuse to believe that I have anything more then a minor malfunction in my electrical system. So I will say that when I read about everyone with heart malfunctions having night sweats it did raise concern in my mind. What I am finding is through exercise and eating my totally crappy diet of tasty things, that my night sweats are subsiding. I still have them, but not as bad as I did even a month ago. It seems that as I get healthier my temperature issues seem to get better as well. I am also finding that my temperature during the day is improving. So for those out here that have this similar question, I say exercise is the key. I pretty much half ass my exercise, so if I can be getting better so can you. I am sure that there are nay sayers out here as well, and those that are still overwhelmed with the onset of their malfunction and seemingly forced issue of a device, I am here to tell you there is HOPE! I am here to say that the medical practice is just that, a practice. Yes, unfortunately we are the guinea pigs or lab rat's. The nice thing is the advances in medical practice and knowledge gets better all the time. The thing to consider is a practice leaves room for error. Error that we take to mean this is what and how it is. We assume that this stuff is all fact. I have this and I can't get better. Well I for one am not buying it! I think that I can get better! I think you can get better! I also think that those that do not have this can avoid it completely. I say that it is going to depend greatly on you and your thoughts. I am one stubborn son-of-a-gun most of the time. I choose to believe that this is not a disease. I choose to use the power of my mind in a positive supportive manner on this subject, and refuse to let this kill me. I also refuse to believe it can inhibit how I want to live. Therefore the only choice is for my body to heal. Perhaps we need more positive thoughts instead of the 'you are sick so live with it crap.' I certainly hope that the rest of you have a strong sense that you can get better too.

   Keep coming back. I am sure there is more of this to come. Don't get too pissed at your Doc and Vampires as they are doing their best to help, and that is awesome!