Life Changing Events

   So it was early September. September 2, 2011 to be exact. I was working at Sulzer Pumps in Aurora Co. I had gone to work and was actually feeling alright. I remember I had driven my truck into work that day, and was planning on going to a fishing tournament that was to start at midnight. I was rather excited and was hoping to have the weekend off to do something I would enjoy. These moments are rare in my adult life and I just couldn't wait for the day to end. I remember waking up in the ICU of University of Colorado Hospital. I remember I was laying on my back, Head tilted so I was facing to my right...

    I woke to see my mother Barbara Bunker, and was thinking to myself holy Shit. Turning to my left feeling pretty weak, and a bad pain in my neck, and I see my natural dad Glen and I instantly think oh fuck I am dead! There is nothing on the planet that would allow these two people to be in the same room together. What the fuck happened? I will attempt to curb the cussing a bit. But this is how I normally speak so no guarantees. I understand everyone had to keep explaining to me what had happened. I finally retained I had suffered from SCD. Sudden Cardiac Death. For those of you who do not know this is when your heart basically stops pumping. The atrium and ventricular chambers are beating so fast they can not pump blood.

   So I found out I had literally died at work. They had to deploy the AED, Automated External Defibrillator. And had shocked me two or three times before the paramedics had arrived. I understand the paramedics shocked me several more times before loading me into the ambulance, and I am told I had to be shocked several more times before we arrived at the hospital. Well, all I remember is I was walking up and talking to a guy that stood about  5'8" tall, mid forties with curly brown hair. Like permanent curly. He had a pleasant smile and said to me "Oops, Its Not your turn!" So I said OK Thanks! He said " Don't thank me. Thank Michael and Shannon" So I remember leaving this man and trying to talk to Michael and Shannon for the rest of the day. They would not turn and talk to me. I was getting a little Pissed off.

   So Back at the Hospital I understand they had a blast in the ER making sure I was stable. All sorts of mid-evil tortures. Everyone I remember at the University Hospital was Fantastic. So if you die like me I highly recommend going there. I am However happy I do not remember the blood tests, the angiogram , the pulses of electricity that ran through my body or any of the other stuff they do. But I am grateful that they helped me out. My new found friend, appointed by the hospital also known as an EP / Electro Physiologist, came in and informed me I was an Ideal Candidate for an ICD. Implantable Cardiac Defibrillator. I call it my flight recorder / super charger. It records every heart beat and sits there just waiting to kick the ever lovin shit out of me! The manual says if it goes off when having relations, the lady may love it.. lol.

   Well after accepting my itinerary of scheduled events for my holiday stay at the hospital, everyone leaves for lunch. the nurse came in and said if I wanted to go to a regular room I had to take a shower on my own. I was like damn that would be nice. Its impressive how much strength you lose from an adventure like this. I tried to stand up and was like umm hell no! this is not gonna happen now. So it was a couple days later, plenty of extra holes in me now from blood tests and some anti clotting agent they inject into your stomach that I swear its better to get punched in the gut by some huge muscle bound man. It bruises almost instantly by the way. I have no recollection that they ran a camera up through my arteries into my heart to investigate  potential blockages. None of which exist thank God. I manage to walk myself into the shower. Little baby steps like Tim Conway on the Carol Burnett show pretending to be an old geezer. The nurse comes in and takes off my dress / hospital gown. How humiliating! They didn't think I could get undressed by myself. She continues to explain what I need to do as if I had forgotten how to shower, and what to do in case of an emergency. Ok Great, I am standing here freezing my... oh look someone shaved my balls. Get the hell out so I can wash up already. So I am scrubbing away, thinking how I may keep my new designer hair cut, when my Testicles fall on the floor of the shower. I am sure you can imagine my reaction to this. I screamed like a  little girl. The nurse came in and I explained how my testicles fell off and she starts laughing her ass off. It turns out it was the gauze they had taped over the incision they made to my artery for the bore scope. Needless to say I got my Private room as it applies to a hospital at any rate.