Why did this happen to me?

  So have you ever wondered why this happened to you? Do you find when you are awake that you think about what happened and how? Do you find yourself wondering if maybe it's Karma? Do you drift back in time and think, what if I made different decisions, would this still have happened? Do you sit there and think that life is over because I have a box in my chest? Well my friend's, welcome to the club! But I have news for you. The news I have may be a great thing, it will depend on exactly how you interpret this. We are very special and not overly common. Have you thought about that? No, I mean have you really thought about the fact that you are incredibly special? For those of you that are reading this, because you have a friend or a loved one with a (Pace Maker or Implanted Cardiac Defibrillator) have you thought how lucky they are to still be here? How lucky you are that they are still a part of your every day life? Someone was certainly looking out for us! So maybe we should look at this in a fun light, and I hope you do. You have seen cyborgs on TV and in SCI-FI movies. Yes, You are living proof that Cyborgs exist! Perhaps not on as grand of a scale as we would have hoped, or maybe a bit more grand than we would have enjoyed.

   Personally, I started looking at pictures of Cyborgs and Robots and such on the internet a few minutes ago and I really started to feel like I got ripped off! In a way I think I am happy that I don't have attachments on my face, or arms. But wait a minute, Maybe I really do want attachments. Maybe I want the Laser eye that can see through anything. Maybe I want the micro mother board processor with mother board and digital read out with the screen in my eye, so I can surf the web, or get information about things as I just look at the box in the store. Talk about Google smart! All you would have to do is think: look this up! Then, BAM! It reads out on the screen in your eye. Nobody could tell and it would be so cool, you could access anything anywhere and at anytime! Maybe I want the interchangeable arms or legs too. Just think, you could have the weed whacker attachment and you would never have to worry about if it had the cord, because it would be a laser. Maybe you like to cook and you could have the food processor attachment, now that would make life easy wouldn't it? And home protection would be awesome! Jet pack legs, and Flame thrower, Machine Gun and Laser Blaster attachments. Chain saw Attachment for cutting down trees and more! The possibilities are endless. Maybe we are looking at this whole thing of a heart condition controlled by a battery operated device in the wrong way. Perhaps we need to open our minds and figure out we are indeed truly special.

   We could be super hero's, but for sure we are pioneers carving the way for better development! Like those before us, they had it worse then we do for sure. Pacers and ICD's used to be quite large. So I am thankful that mine is really so small. Mine is in my chest, on top of my left pectoral muscle and at times it is quite uncomfortable. But when the truth of the matter sets in, it is like a paramedic on hand 24hrs a day, 7 days a week. Waiting and watching to set things right before its too late. I should be a lot more thankful to my device than I am. I am only human, so I am certainly full of emotions and feelings. Love for my device is not one of them. Now that it has been over a year since it has gone off, I have a little more respect for it. Maybe we should look at it in another light. I wonder what our devices think? Do you think they have a consciousness to them? If they did would they be missing hanging out with their palls? Mine has its own communicator that sits by the side of my bed. I wonder if it calls other devices while I attempt to sleep?

   Mine has Bluetooth technology as far as I can tell, because it talks to that box there on my night stand and sends the information to my Doc every night. It sends them a complete report every Tuesday at midnight. For those that are worried about big brother watching, a prime example perhaps. So this one is pretty cool, as it is a cellular product, because I do not have a land line at this time. For all I know my device may be talking to yours. It does get creepy when the button on the right changes colors and you go and press it. It will tell you when it lost its signal, or you were not present for it to take a reading. The screen on it is a touch screen when it is lit up as well. If you get down to it, it is actually quite impressive! We just need to shift how we look at our device about 1 Degree. If we can achieve this, perhaps living with our devices in our chests and abdomens would become less of a hindrance. Maybe we need to learn how to accept our implanted electro-mechanical  computer parts. If we accept them into our lives, maybe it would lower the stresses of living together with them so much. We do have the option to be upset over having this, or to be thankful we are still here. We are human, and I struggle with it too. Maybe, through exercise and an attitude change we will continue to have and create incredible memories. After all, that is what life is. It is experiences on the short end, and memories on the long end. Life is about creating memories, for the most part it is up to us for them to be good or bad. So if I am meant to be a cyborg, then so be it! I am a Cyborg and I am Damned Proud of IT!

 


   Now if I could look like that I may be happier. So a long story short, we are very lucky people. We have a second chance that very few people get! I think I am going to try and make the most of it, instead of stewing on the past that I can not change. I do not think I would really change my life before anyway, I am happier now than I ever really was before. I have learned there is more to life than work, and I need to learn how to live! Most of the memories in my head are of movies, and the memories I have that are not, should be things I have done with my kids. I will pursue happiness and a genuine life / work balance so I can actually have a life! Look out life here I come! I am going to do the things I have always wanted to. I am going to have experiences and I am going to enjoy every minute of it. And if you think I can't or won't, well you have another thing coming. Welcome to the new world where the only real limits are your mind. Lets move forward instead of dwelling in the past. Lets create as many memories as we can, take it all in and give it our best shot. The devices we have are meant to let us live, Not to hold us back.


 Thanks a Bunch for keeping up with my blog. Lets move forward and live life! I will NOT let this beat me!

   Thanks for the messages and comments! It does me good to hear from you as well. I hope to hear from everyone that reads this, because it's all about helping each other deal with our situations.