Wired up like a bypassed Christmas tree and Home sleeping on the couch!

   OK! So it was finally time to send me home from the hospital. Thank God because I am out of Vacation time! I was pretty Tired of Staring out the window of the tenth floor of University of Colorado Hospital at the parking lot that was directly below. I so wanted to go sit in the garden area while I was there, but they thought I would make a run for it or something. Overall it was like being in Jail without the bars and I had  my own television.

   The nurses came in with my discharge papers, and I was so happy I couldn't finish my instant eggs omelet.
My wife was not there to take me home yet, and the nurse asks if I have had a bowel movement yet. I tell her no I have not had a bowel movement yet, and I was confident that I wouldn't until I was comfortable at home. Unexpected Holiday stays tend to make my body not have to do number two. She laughed and said until I had a bowel movement I couldn't leave! I was beginning to think I was going to have to move in. The rent is ridiculous too. I was only there for 6 days so far and to the tune of 193,000 dollars. Not including tip and taxi! The laundry service was good, as my clothes were clean. The only complaint on the laundry was all my clothes were cut in half. I suppose you cant win them all. But for 32,166.00 a day I want the little pillow mints and maybe a smooch or something! I didn't even get the wheel chair ride down to the car when we left! My Dr. told them to let me out without the bowel movement. Whoo Hoo! Homeward bound!

 Prescriptions first then home.

I was feeling a lot like that looks. Naked Chicken / fish Hybrid and wanted a damned smoke so bad it was insane! 

   We stood in line for a few minutes and it felt like hours. They had prescribed Ameoderone and Metoprolol. Well Metoprolol was only $20.00 for 180 pills. Not bad, But the Ameoderone was $695.00 for 30 pills WTF? I am in the wrong business! Sweet mother mary where do they get off charging that kind of money for a pack of 30 pills? I almost vapor locked again on the spot!  I probably spelled my medications wrong but for that kind of money they deserve it!

   The ride home was good! I couldn't wait to see my beautiful home once again! I was convinced I was not ever going to be able to go home! But we drove all the way home, its an hour away from the hospital. I was pretty excited to be there, but was not sure how I was going to get in and out of my water bed. I have an older water bed, because it was a lot less money then a new sleep number bed. I would like to have one but couldn't afford it, I support a family of 7 so its just not gonna happen for a while. So I am at home, running about in non slip hospital socks and Sponge Bob sleep pants. I have the sweats from hell and its actually cold outside. I have pretty severe pain in my chest, but its not in my heart. Or is it? Crap I don't know, I just had surgery. So I decide the best thing for me to do is sleep on my couch. Whoo Hoo! A Big TV, Satellite, Blue ray's I am set! I slept a lot like I did in the hospital. About 10 minutes and up for an hour or two and out for 10... Crap this sucks! I was scared to move my left arm, for fear I would yank the wire out of my super charger, or out of my heart or whatever else may have happened. I was getting weaker and weaker by the minute. I was afraid I would loose my job, and that I could not pay my bills. So I was up any way I decided to read my new owners manual...

   This thing reads like stereo instructions. Oh, some of the cant do's. You cant hold anything with a magnetic field as strong as a cell phone within 6 inches from your device. Oh that's neat!. I cant hear out of my right ear so well and I am def in the left one. (when I wanna be)  So my cell phone is less than 6 inches from my device when I talk on it. It was only traumatizing for the first 80 or 90 calls. I am not supposed to have a cordless drill within 12 inches of my device. Humm what about a corded one? I use these at work all the time. I am not supposed to be within 5 feet of a sand blaster, welder, the machine motors, Can't work on my own cars any longer, my spouse can get electrocuted if we have relations and it goes off. Well WTF did I get this put in for? I have to stop doing all the crap I do every day. OK!, this sucks I am going to try to go to sleep again. 10 minutes later I am up and sweating to death. OMG! I'm in a living hell! I gave up on sleeping for more than 10 minutes, and a couple nights later I gave up sleeping on the couch. There is nothing like your own bed! I learned to keep my left arm stiff and straight out, and I could use it like a kick stand to roll out of bed and barely clear the side rail of the water bed. pretty slick I think! 

   My wife was all stressed out, but hid it well! I had to stay home for 6 weeks, I was in a bad mood and surprised she didn't turn into an alcoholic over my little adventure with an extended vacation. I still have no clue why she married me, but I am happy she did. I sure have given her a roller coaster ride of a life. I have to keep mentioning her, because a huge part of the success of this is her fault! If it wasn't for her I would not be writing this and probably would be dead by now for sure. SUPPORT is what you need! And my wife is the best at it! I will rent her out for your support for say 150k a day. That is a bargain! She is worth more per hour than even Bill Gates could afford! My Beautiful Bride!!

   

   So she will probably freak on her picture when she proof reads this. I blame all my illiteracy on her! lol.

   So at this point, I have Died, I have been Electrocuted, I have had a Super Charger added to my Internals. I feel like a Hot wired Buick Road Master in Death Valley, My Testicles fell of in the shower, I cant sleep and I look like a smoking Fish / Chicken Hybrid. lol Yup, that about sums it up. 

Keep Coming Back! More Tomorrow!